I love him, I love everyone, yes even people whom I hate (thats why its call hate= love what), but they always thought I only knew how to throw tantrums, show my attitude but hey! IM HUMAN TOO. I got feelings, when you are angry with your parents/friends/or significant other, you will definitely flare up somehow , depending on your situation, be it to friends or love ones.


but the ultimate objective is that, bcos you know that that person loves you, cares for you and will forgive you if you flare at them.ITS BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND, what you are going through, what is happening, they hope you will feel better too. I have waited all my life, to get what I want, get what I hope for, to see the person so far away from me. I waited, I complained, I cried. even if I have to, I will fight for it, I will give up everything for it. In just of a hope of love & warmth, with achievement.


Those words spoken hurt deeply, ending up at the roadside, being rejected by taxi uncles, in tears running out of tissue. What I said here is not about being pitiful and hurt, I just hope angered words can be random can be truthful, however whats worst is that, no return calls, no turning back, just going ahead.


the agony and pain remains endured while my tears keep on flowing,

everytime I start to do something, I always hope to make someone's burden lighter, to brighten up their day. However, when things goes wrong, nobody understood how much i went through to get it done, then they got angry and it becomes my fault.

at times i wish myself I didnt care, but its because I care and I love thats why I did so much. I wonder if they even realize how hard I work and did so as to achieve the end product / making some sacrifices. I m not complaining, I just trying to justify myself.'

everytime anything happen, Im first to be blamed, accused whatever. If whatever I do to make things better were so easy, then I would not even complain at all. When things went smoothly, everything works, no cockup no problems, people just say thankyou without looking at me, or just walked away.

I have never bother about receiving something in return, even if i just say, its either being practical or im joking. All i just do is to receive a nice hug/thankyou/ saying takecare, really.

I felt that at times, when others accuse/dislike what others said/do, have they really think they have never like this, never a devil always an angel ? when I know someone is unhappy, I try my best to suppress my feelings/opinions hoping that it allow the person to feel better, at times I will give in even when I was unwilling to. (I SWEAR!)

some people thinks to me $$ is wonder, $$ solves alot of problems. If all these works, do I have to work so hard for everything I have done all by myself.

all of us have pride, but when it is stepped down by the one you love , yet not being bothered, is it my fault or just pathetic?

Today, Im being so emotional to type this out , but at least I can feel a short relief from the agony and pain. Tears go away for a while alright...should I let go now?

Mummy's side ah ma/pa, korkor & jie can come to my dream tonight ma? iloveyou. only when you lose the person, you realize that things were not right.

(: im okay, i just need time to UNDERSTAND more, to VISIONALISE things more.. I miss JIEJIE, I miss FEBBY. I feel like crying worst if Im not in school, it hurts too much too much WAY too much.